Should You Stay, or Should You Go?

“I know you used to love me,

But that was yesterday.

And the truth, I won’t fight it,

When the loves starts burning

You got to do what’s right.”

Jarrod Niemann, Lover Lover

Should You Stay, or Should You Go?

Happy 3 Months note

Entering a new relationship is exciting. The first few months in a relationship are usually fun, cheerful and simple. You spend a ton of time getting to know each other, and become nearly inseparable.

As months pass by, relationships change.  It’s inevitable. So after the initial excitement dwindles away, what happens next?

The relationship will either continue down a successful path, or it will reach a dead end.

After hearing the song Lover Lover by Jarrod Niemann, it reminded me that it’s OK to move on if you’re in a dead end, unhealthy relationship. If you no longer feel loved or respected by your boyfriend, leave him.

Unhealthy Relationships

When your relationship starts going downhill, it’s hard to accept. There are countless red flags that indicate you’re in an unhealthy relationship.

Some Red Flags:

  • Jealousy
  • Controlling behaviors
  • Lying to you
  • Trying to change you
  • Verbal weapons
  • Physical force

If any of these red flags remind you of your boyfriend, you should leave him immediately. No one deserves to feel unhappy – especially in a relationship. You determine how others treat you. If you let people walk all over you – guess what – that’s what they’ll do.

Ending a Relationship

Breaking up with someone isn’t easy, but sometimes it’s for the best. Once you’ve decided breaking is up what’s best for you, do not let anyone talk you out of it. You are in charge of your life and your happiness, not anyone else. After you break up with someone, there are a few actions to take that will help the “moving on” process much easier.

Post Break-Up Actions

  • Cut off all contact. Delete his phone number, unfriend him on Facebook, unfollow him on Twitter. It might seem harsh, but it will help you move on faster.
  • Get rid of anything that reminds you of him. Pictures? Burn them. Presents? Burn them too. If you’re not the type to burn things, at least put everything in a box in your attic. Having pictures and presents around will only remind you of the good times.
  • Go out with your friends. Your friends want to see you happy, and they’ll do anything they can to help you.

Healthy Relationships

Healthy relationships exist; however, if you’re stuck in an unhealthy one, you may never know what it feels like to be truly loved and respected. Healthy relationships are easier to be involved in, and they’re better for your well-being.

Elements of a healthy relationship:

  • Respect
  • Honesty
  • Communication
  • Trust
  • Patience

If these five things are present in your relationship, you’re off to a good start.

So what about you; have you, or someone you know, ever been in an unhealthy relationship? How did you escape it?

***If you are involved in an abusive relationship, visit The National Domestic Violence Hotline for information and help. You can also call the hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).***

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